


Miroh

by minsungtrash69



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Anal Sex, Bottom Han Jisung | Han, Feelings Realization, Fluff and Angst, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Jealousy, Lingerie, M/M, Making Out, Oral Sex, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Possessive Behavior, Rough Sex, Top Lee Minho | Lee Know
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-07
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-13 07:21:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29897598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/minsungtrash69/pseuds/minsungtrash69
Summary: They’ve been best friends since forever, or well, maybe for about a year now since they moved into the same dorm; Jisung tends to exaggerate things and forever is just one of his favorites.But he’ll tell you he’s been in love with Minho since forever, and that part feels more true. Those fleeting glances, those touches that linger more than a second, those words that seem to be laced with more meaning than they should. They all drive Jisung crazy because he doesn't know what they mean, what he and Minho even mean. It’s like a maze, a beginning with no end, these obstacles defining the ambiguity of their relationship.
Relationships: Han Jisung | Han/Lee Minho | Lee Know, slight changjin - Relationship
Comments: 8
Kudos: 110





	Miroh

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! Welcome to my Minsung fic, where I've procrastinated writing my own essays to write this, LOL.
> 
> I wanted to give some warnings that there are some mentions of anxiety and of behavior that could be interpreted as toxic, especially on Minho's part when he acts jealous. 
> 
> Hope y'all enjoy :).

They’ve been best friends since forever, or well, maybe for about a year now since they moved into the same dorm; Jisung tends to exaggerate things and _forever_ is just one of his favorites. 

But he’ll tell you he’s been in love with Minho since forever, and that part feels more true. Those fleeting glances, those touches that linger more than a second, those words that seem to be laced with more meaning than they should. They all drive Jisung crazy because he doesn't know what they mean, what he and Minho even mean. It’s like a maze, a beginning with no end, these obstacles defining the ambiguity of their relationship. 

Minho is dense but not that dense, surely, to not know what he’s doing when he wraps his arms around Jisung’s waist and spoons him so gently yet possessively like how they are now. And Jisung isn’t the most subtle either; he can’t hide how he feels and he’s terribly frustrated—playing this game of tag, chasing each other with no clarity in between. 

He places his hands on top of Minho's, reveling in their warmth as they watch some shitty Disney movie Jisung puts on his laptop. His mind wanders, focusing on the glide of Minho’s fingers where they slip in between his. _How soft and warm_ _they are_. There's no way this is platonic, he thinks, but Jisung doesn't understand what they are, if anything at all. 

Minho has always been a mind game to him, and it doesn’t help that the both of them struggle with talking about their feelings in general. Really, Jisung would tell you that liking Minho was doomed from the start, but when Minho’s tiny hands align perfectly with Jisung’s, their fingers entangled, he thinks to himself, _Just maybe_ , _maybe we have a chance_.

********

Jisung paces back and forth in the hallway, fidgeting before Minho’s room. _God, this is so stupid. It’s not that fucking hard_. He tells himself this over and over and as much as his brain should register that simple notion, it honestly can’t. 

It’s been a week since they’ve moved into the dorms and Jisung still hasn’t talked to this dude at all. To be fair, Jisung is not the most extroverted person and Minho doesn’t seem to be one either, but he can’t help but feel guilty for not even mustering a simple _hello_ whenever they cross paths. 

_God, what if he thinks I hate his guts?_

“Seriously, you should talk to him! He's a pretty cool guy and apparently he’s also a dance major! Can you believe I’ve never seen him around though?” Hyunjin told him, nonchalantly munching a blueberry muffin he stole from Jisung’s Costco pack. _I_ _’ll kill him for that later_ , he reminds himself. 

When he thinks about it, sometimes Jisung can’t believe that he spent the first half of his freshman year fighting with Hyunjin as insufferable roommates, so chaotic to the point he dramatically made a point of taping a boundary line in their room that they both never adhered to anyways. 

Now, they're so close that they signed up to dorm together, well in separate rooms of course, because they agreed it would be for the better and for the rest of the suite, unless yelling is a relaxing ASMR for them. Jisung knew a guy like that once but that’s a different story to tell. But before Minho had moved in, they came up with all kinds of fanatical characteristics of what their potential housemate would be. 

Jisung bet it would be an annoying band geek, someone who played League of Legends all day and Hyunjin swore with their luck it would be an Asian frat boy, someone that would never be sober and who would bring girls over all the time. But much to Jisung's delight (and anxiety), the guy was neither and he was hot as hell—something he was not prepared for. 

Speaking to people was one thing but speaking to someone who’s so beautiful as if looking at them makes you feel like you should be fined—made Jisung's stomach do backflips to say the least. 

Like the embarrassing heathen he is, Jisung glared at him so hard when he first saw Minho move in, the only time they ever interacted. But he was left speechless by how pretty the boy was, that like an idiot, just stared at his face until the other scratched his head awkwardly and excused himself. Not a proud moment in Jisung's book. But then again, that book had been overflowing anyways. One additional page shouldn't ruin his sanity even though it does. 

Finally, in what feels like hours standing before his door, he musters the courage to knock on it because _it can only get better from here, right?_

His eyes widen though when Minho opens the door with a box of tissues, his eyes clearly puffy from crying all day. His hair and clothes don't look too much better either, completely in disarray. 

"Oh shit. Dude, are you okay?" Jisung voices with concern.

He takes a quick glance inside the room, noticing tissues thrown all over across the floor. There’s a tub of mint chocolate ice cream on the bed and _yeah_ , _he’s definitely not okay_.

"Huh?" Minho takes a side glance to look at himself in the mirror and to his horror, he must've looked much more atrocious than he thought. 

"Oh God...I’m so sorry you had to see me like this. I just answered the door without thinking and everything is such a mess.”

“No no, please don’t apologize. Are you okay?”

“Yeah, it's not a big deal. I don't want to burden you with my drama…" Minho stares at the floor in awkwardness, but looks up when he says, "did you need something though?"

Jisung scratches his head anxiously, "I just wanted to stop by and talk to you since I haven't yet. But seriously, if you want an ear, I don't mind at all. Like you're not a bother."

Minho smiles sweetly at that and Jisung takes note of how pretty his rose lips are, but buries it in the back of his head because he realizes how incredibly awful timing it is to find someone crying their heart out to be so lovely. 

"Shit, my room is a mess. Let me clean it up real quick," Minho sighs to himself, shaking his head at what he's done. “I swear, I’m usually way more composed than this.” 

Jisung laughs, "Nah dude, your room is a literal paradise compared to mine. Like my room is literally a game of lava but in reverse. Don’t sweat it.” 

Chuckling, Minho has enough manners to at least quickly pick up all the tissues on the floor, and as he closes the ice cream that’s embarrassingly almost all gone, he invites Jisung to sit at his desk as Minho plops down on his bed.

There’s an awkward silence as Jisung doesn’t want to pry but he doesn’t know what to say either, what even to talk about with a white elephant in the room.

But thankfully, Minho breaks that silence first, trying to keep his composure as he lets out, “So, I just found out my boyfriend, well ex, cheated on me with one of my closest friends.”

Blinking rapidly, Jisung definitely did not expect that. Well, he didn’t know what he was expecting, but _holy shit_. _What’s he supposed to say?_

“I’m so sorry. You don’t deserve any of that at all.” He doesn’t know how their relationship was, but he can’t imagine what it must feel like to be cheated on, and especially with another friend at that. 

“Yeah, fuck Jake, that dude was so fucking awful.” 

Maybe Jisung isn’t the best at social cues, but hearing that name suddenly makes him burst into laughter, as he tries to lighten the mood with a joke. 

“You dated a guy that started with a 'J'? You’re seriously asking for it then,” Jisung giggles, filling the room with his laughter and Minho quickly joins him as well. 

“God, you’re so right,” Minho starts to laugh even more, slapping his knee when he mentions, “His last name was also 'Kim'.” 

“Jake Kim? Nah dude, you were already fucked from the start.”

They both start howling at laughter and they themselves aren’t even sure why it’s so funny, but it’s something about this moment that makes them smile at each other, as Minho eyes light up with amusement, almost hiding how swollen they had been.

Jisung pauses for a moment and then asks, “Wanta grab boba? You can spill the tea on this loser as we drink actual tea.”

“Ha-Ha. You’re pretty funny aren’t you?”

“So I’ve been told.”

“By who, your mom?”

“She thinks I’m hilarious, thank you very much. If I wasn’t a music major, I would’ve probably dropped out of school to do stand up.”

Jisung thinks how surprisingly easy it is to banter like this with someone he’s just met—especially considering the circumstances that they’re in. But as they both visit their campus’ boba shop, they stay there so long until they close at 2am in the morning. 

He finds out some things about Minho, like how he disgustingly gets jasmine milk tea with 25% sugar, while Jisung loves his cookies and cream shakes at sometimes 125% sugar. Jisung thinks that Minho is way too sweet to have such a bitter taste but what can you do? He also finds out that Jake was the type to make Minho pay for all their meals and he gasps, “No way,” when he hears about that one time he was so hungover from a party, he showed up and met Minho’s parents while drunk, and vomited all over the dinner table. Really, he can’t even fathom such a guy dating anyone, let alone the most mesmerizing boy he’s ever laid eyes on. But he’s glad Minho isn’t with that loser anymore, or he swears to God he would beat the living daylights out of him.

It's amazing how they talk as if they’ve been friends forever, settling into the conversation easily; Jisung starts talking about random things, how he’s never dated anyone and how he’s been keeping busy with music. He even shows him a few Soundcloud tracks he’s made with friends, to which Minho enjoys listening to—both of them sharing earbuds and making the distance of their table seem smaller and smaller.

It’s hard to tell when they’ve become best friends, because it feels so natural the way they start to do everything together, from homework, movie nights, game nights, and everything else. And Jisung may or may not have the most platonic feelings towards him, but it doesn’t matter. In the present, he’s the happiest he’s ever been and Minho looks the same, too. He hasn’t heard him talk about his ex in so long and it looks like the both of them are content with their lives. Whatever relationship they have, platonic or not, he’s happy that they call each other soulmates. He’s never felt so at home. 

********

As a year passes and they’re in their junior year, the both of them live in separate apartments but are still a five minute drive from each other. Minho had wanted to be roommates together but honestly, with how in love Jisung is, he felt it was for the better if he just took an apartment with Hyunjin, not being able to bear it if Minho ever got a boyfriend and brought someone else home. But thankfully, Minho doesn't seem to be interested in anyone yet and Jisung can’t imagine how he would feel once Minho finally likes someone, and he especially doesn’t want to picture that if they were living together.

It’s funny that Jisung rationalizes this in his head but it doesn’t seem to matter as he’s over at Minho’s place more often than his own. Hyunjin swears that Jisung doesn’t even live there anymore but Jisung jokes back that he should be thankful he’s not there to annoy him.

Now, they’re having one of their typical movie dates, where Jisung comes over every weekend and cuddles in bed with him over whatever flick they put on. This time around, they’re watching a kdrama, a welcome relief to the horror movie they watched last time, where Jisung swore he almost peed his pants. Not something you want in front of your crush. 

Kiss scenes aren’t awkward. Well, it does make Jisung’s heart flutter a bit whenever he sees one with Minho, but he’s not a baby. He knows better to not think too hard about them, or about how Minho’s soft lips would feel on top of his. No no, he knows better to not let his mind wander and linger over the impossible, so he tries to stay as absolutely still as he can. But it’s a bit hard when Minho has his arms wrapped around him in bed, his breath ghosting over his neck and it takes every fiber of his being to not combust. He tries not to think too much about it, listing it as one of Minho’s casual things that belongs in the “friend” category, because to think more of it would make him a fool. 

But this time, the both of them start laughing their ass off as they finally witness the first kiss scene after seven episodes: the leads finally lean in for their big moment but it looks as if he’s sucking her face off, much to the woman’s unconcealed contempt. 

“What the fuck is he doing?” Minho scoffs, at utter disbelief such a scene could ever be approved. 

“I don’t know, like is he trying to bite her tongue off? I mean I guess that’s sexy,” Jisung jokes, laughing at the screen.

“Mhm. Trust me, that’s not what a good kiss should be.”

“I wouldn’t know. I’ve never kissed anyone so I guess I’m not in the place to judge them.”

Minho lets go of his hand around Jisung's waist, and uses it to pause the movie. Confused, Jisung turns around and faces him, realizing how close they are as his heart speeds up, “Hmm?”

“Are you serious? You’ve never kissed anyone?” Minho asks him, astonished and mouth wide open.

“Stop! Don’t make fun of me just because I’m not as experienced as you,” Jisung squeezes his face, embarrassed at how much little action he’s seen for being 21. 

“Ahh, sorry I didn’t realize it came off like that. I’m not mocking you; I’m just genuinely surprised that no one has ever kissed someone as cute as you.”

Jisung blushes and if his heart was already beating fast, it’s thumping so loudly as if it’s about to explode. He’s speechless and he doesn’t know what to say to that, the eye contact between the two driving him so crazy. He just wants Minho to say something, anything, to clarify that he didn’t mean it. That _cute_ was a slip of the tongue, a wrong adjective that doesn’t describe how he feels about him. 

But Minho doesn’t clarify it, if anything he makes it even worse, when he somehow even leans in closer and whispers, “Can I kiss you?” 

Their lips are so close that they’re almost brushing against each other, and without answering, Jisung closes his eyes, and leans forward. He doesn’t know what he’s doing, but the way his mouth perfectly slides with Minho’s comforts him. That this was meant to happen. 

It feels so warm and he wonders how they haven’t done this sooner, as Minho tangles his fingers into his hair, pulling him closer. Minho’s body is radiating and Jisung feels overwhelmed by how homely this feels. Even when their teeth clash, and Jisung awkwardly licks his tongue, unsure if he’s doing it right, everything feels so natural, so perfect as their lips align, in tune with each other. When Minho pulls away, he gives off the most beautiful smile Jisung’s ever seen, different from anything he’s ever witnessed. He looks at him with such pure happiness that for the first time, Jisung feels so wanted. 

_I could get used to this._

********

And he does get used to it, and even more than that. Jisung prides himself in being a quick learner, and he starts to initiate things as much as Minho does. It gets to the point where kissing is not enough, and Jisung wants every part of him.

If Minho’s housemate can hear any moans or the way their beds creak, he doesn’t bat an eye. It’s not like they try to be loud; they try to be as conscious as possible but Jisung isn’t exactly the most silent. He’s sure that some of his noises have slipped then and there but he could hardly care any less. Sleeping with Minho isn’t anything to be ashamed of; honestly, he kinda scored the jackpot. So excuse him if he acts like a giddy teenager, because he’s just so incredibly happy. 

But when Hyunjin asks him if he wants to go to the fair on a double date, so Jisung and Minho can meet his new boyfriend, Changbin, Jisung doesn’t know how to respond to that.

_We’re not dating_ , he wants to say. But he realizes it would be harder to explain if he said the opposite. It’s obvious Jisung was infatuated with him since they first met, but his feelings for him keep growing and growing and now it troubles him to think about what they are, what they mean to each other. He’s curious as to how Minho feels, and lets his heart waver into thinking that Minho must like him—even just a little bit—but how does he go about asking him when “feelings” aren’t even a part of their vocabulary. Or, even worse, what if Minho is so appalled to have any kind of commitment and pushes Jisung away forever? But at the very least, he knows for sure that Minho would love to go to a fair, whether it’s a date or not. 

So Jisung smiles at Hyunjin, and tells him that they’re on, and that he may or may not beat up his boyfriend if he thinks he’s not good enough.

“Jisung, this guy actually has abs unlike the 2-pack or whatever you have. He could definitely beat you up.” 

Gasping, Jisung playfully hits him on the shoulder, “Well, at least I’m sure I’m better at running away.”

Hyunjin rolls his eyes, “You’re so stupid. I don’t know what Minho sees in you.”

_Yeah_ , _you’re not the only one_.

When they all meet up at the fair later, it takes every fiber of his being to not laugh at Hyunjin’s words, thinking, _how would this guy even beat my ass_?

He lightly brushes Minho’s arm and whispers, “Hey, does his boyfriend look like he’s 5’2 or something? I could beat him up in a fight, right?”

Minho hits his arm and shushes him, giggling, “Dude, Hyunjin is going to kill you if you say that. I mean...he seems nice enough I guess?”

They’re both staring at Changbin and Hyunjin from a distance, as those two order boba while they went to get food. And when they convene back at a table, Jisung realizes the guy is not as bad as he thought. Actually, they got along really well and he’s excited for Hyunjin, considering the last few guys weren’t the best. He even found out that they’re both Soundcloud rappers, a feat that Minho wouldn’t necessarily brag about to his friends, but he cheered on Jisung regardless. 

“I bet I could beat you in a rap battle. Right here, right now,” Jisung taunts, scoping a mouthful of kimchi fried rice that makes his cheeks so plump and round. Minho thinks he’s too cute to be anywhere remotely threatening, but he hypes him up anyway, “Yeah, Ji is the best rapper I’ve ever seen. His uhm..spit? Or flow? is super sick.” He’s not sure what the right lingo is but he does his best to support his man as he sticks out a thumbs up. 

“If I didn’t like Hyunjin so much, I would’ve made his best friend cry on the spot. Too bad that he’s kinda cute,” Changbin retorts.

“Just kinda?” Hyunjin dotes, trying his best to seem endearing and it makes Jisung want to vomit. 

The whole table laughs and Jisung doesn’t miss the fond look Hyunjin gives Changbin, wondering if he looks the same whenever he stares at Minho. 

After they finish stuffing themselves to the point of their stomachs almost bursting, Changbin suggests that they line up for an easier ride, something that wouldn’t make them nauseous right now. But as he points to the ferris wheel, just looking at the top is almost enough to make Jisung and Minho puke.

“I don’t think I ever told you, but I’m really afraid of heights,” Minho whispers to Jisung.

“Yeah, same here.”

There’s a pause before Minho dips to his ear again and his words make Jisung blush, “But as long as I'm with you, I'd have fun anywhere.” 

Jisung lights up at the prospect of them facing their fears together, and surely considering it’s night time, the view must be so beautiful from above. Suddenly, he’s hit with such newfound fervor, feeling excited to go on this ride with him. 

“Yeah, let’s go!”

He latches onto his hand, the two couples going into their own separate cars. And at first, they handle it pretty well, but as the car moves further and further up the ground, Jisung embarrassingly climbs into Minho’s lap, huddling into him as he peeks every few seconds to the window, before burying his face into his neck.

Minho is not in a much better state either, but he holds Jisung’s waist firmly, laughing at how dumb they must look right now but it’s okay, Jisung is so fucking cute that it hurts. Hurts him more than what this terrifying view from above can do to him. 

Once they reach the top, Minho cups his face and tells him to look, both in awe at the city lights glistening around them. But as pretty as the view is, Jisung is distracted elsewhere, lost in the orbits of Minho’s eyes, how such a wonderful being could ever see something in him. It all becomes too much as he’s abruptly hit with a wave of emotions, with a word at the tip of his tongue that makes him so afraid. And before his heart can betray him, he consumes Minho’s mouth, lest he say it out loud.

He doesn’t know what Minho wants, but he’s so desperately in love that he’ll take whatever he can get. He’ll worry about the future later, running around this maze—relishing the kiss with such zeal.

  
  
  


********

Sometimes they fuck like animals, Minho ramming into him so hard that Jisung can barely walk straight, or they have gentle sex, slow and steady as if he's about to break him. 

This is one of those times, where Jisung is laying on his back, legs and arms wrapped all around Minho as he delves deeper into him, slowly rolling his hips in waves until Jisung drowns in pleasure. 

"Ah... _fuck_ , hyung. Please go faster."

"Mhm. Does my baby feel good?" And Jisung blushes, and turns his face to the side, his hands shielding his tomato red face. No matter how many times they do this, Minho always knows how to reduce him to a mess, how to push his buttons until he falls apart. 

"Oh no, baby, we can't have you hiding your face can we? You act so shy when you're really just a little slut for me, hmm?" Minho grabs his hands and pins him down to the bed and Jisung doesn't fight back, his hands lying still in submission. 

The words go straight to Jisung's dick, as he moans in pleasure, getting off to thinking about being all for Minho. He hates how much power Minho has over him, how he knows exactly what to say or what to do to turn him on. 

"Do you like that? When I call you _my slut_?"

"Fuck," Jisung's eyes roll back in pleasure as Minho hits his prostate, "You know I like it."

"Hmm? Like what exactly, baby? You have to use your words and be more clear," Minho smirks, as he grabs a leg to put over his shoulder, hips snapping faster into him with each second. 

" _Ahhhh. Fuck...fuck...fuck_. It feels so good. I just want to be yours. Your little fucking slut and no one else's. It's all I want. All I ever think about. _Please please please_ ," Jisung begs, incoherent words spilling from his mouth mixed with drool. 

"What are you begging for?"

"You! Please, I want your cum so bad. I want you to fill me up."

Minho shudders at the thought, groaning into his shoulder as he buries himself there, nipping the skin until he's sure there will be marks. Jisung always finds him beautiful, but even more so in moments like these—this way Minho looks at him with hazy clouded eyes, a deep lust directed all towards him, _all for him_. He melts into those eyes, trying to keep them as open as he can as their bodies intertwine. 

After a few hard thrusts, Jisung comes untouched, spilling all over his chest as he lets out a loud scream. Minho follows him shortly after, Cumming so hard inside him that his vision goes white, clenching down onto Jisung's shoulder. 

Panting hard, Minho rolls off of him and tosses the condom, the two of them laying by side with only heavy breaths to fill the silence. 

Eventually, Minho gets up and cleans the both of them with a towel. And he chuckles when he notices how still Jisung is, completely dazed in a blissed out expression. 

"Was the sex really that good?"

"I think you broke me in half," Jisung laughs.

"Good."

Fuck. If Jisung didn't already nut his brains out, just that word alone would've been enough to raise his dick to full hardness. It turns him on to see how cocky Minho is, because they both know well how much he knows Jisung’s body like the back of his hand. 

When his stomach growls, Minho quirks an eyebrow at him, "Want me to make you some food?"

"I could just marry you on the spot," the words slip Jisung's mind without thinking too much, but then his eyes widen, realizing the implications of commitment. _Fuck_ , _Fuck_ , _Fuck_. They haven't talked at all about this kind of thing and he’s desperately terrified that Minho will find him repulsive.

But thankfully, Minho takes it in stride, joking, "Hmm, you know I'm expensive baby. Need at least a million dollar ring."

“Ugh, I always knew you were a golddigger.”

“And you only found out now?”

Jisung throws a pillow at his chest, cheekily smiling, “You can empty my pockets all you want if you make me a sandwich. 

“Bet,” he smiles. 

When Minho does return, with an egg sandwich toasted to the very perfection of how Jisung likes and always tells him, his heart flutters. And even more so when Minho climbs into bed with him, feeding him a piece and maybe it’s just the way the light hits the side of his face, or the way Minho’s fingers are as soft as the bread, that his heart is bursting at the seams and his mind goes haywire.

“One day, I really think I could marry you.”

He doesn’t process what he says, not until he looks at Minho in the eye and can visibly witness his mind go into overdrive. 

Freaking out that he just said such a thing, and worsened by Minho’s reaction, he tries to save himself, “No, no. I don’t mean that I’m going to marry you...I just meant like I’m kinda in love with you so...so…” Jisung gasps and brings his hands to his mouth, realizing he just made the situation even worse than before and that he just admitted the very feelings he’s been trying to hide from him. 

Blinking rapidly, Minho drops the plate of food and from his knees, falls down to a sitting position, aghast and not able to believe what he’s hearing.

There’s a long silence between the two of them as Jisung fidgets his fingers, staring down and not daring to say another word, knowing that his big mouth may lead him to another compromising situation—if it could even get any worse from here.

“I thought we were just friends,” Minho murmurs while looking down, not even able to make eye contact.

The words shoot through him like a bolt of lightning, and his anxiety is quickly replaced by a burning feeling of anger, because _did he hear that correctly?_

“Wait...What the fuck did you just say?”

He shouldn’t be this furious; of course they’re just friends. They never talked about being anything more but Jisung can’t help but expect differently, and especially when they’re both sitting in bed after having sex together, it’s difficult to say they’re just friends.

“I didn’t think you would expect more from me,” Minho’s voice is so callous that it unnerves him, not expecting such unexpected apathy. But Jisung knows him better, that Minho is trying his best to mask the fear in his voice but he doesn’t understand why. Why he’s so afraid or why he’s acting like this at all. 

“We literally just had sex and you’re telling me not to expect more?”

“I don’t know what to say.”

“Look me in the eye when you tell me that we’re just friends then.”

But Minho’s eyes are fixated on his fingers, not daring to glance elsewhere.

“You’re a fucking coward,” Jisung spits out with acrimony, quickly dressing himself and getting the hell out of his place, slamming the door as hard as he can. 

He doesn’t know where to go from here, if there can even be any continuation. The maze he’s in has no clear path and all he wants to do is become a storm, riling anything and everything in his path. When he’s treated Minho perfectly up until now, he doesn’t understand where they went wrong. There was nothing in their way so why did Minho change into an unrecognizable asshole within a span of a minute? What did sex even mean to him then? His mind spirals out of control, with question after question as he takes the bus home, almost missing his own stop because he’s so incredibly frustrated as he’s bewildered. 

When he returns home in dismay, Hyunjin waves a hand in front of his face, asking, “Is everything alright?” 

Jisung doesn’t even remember how long Hyunjin had been standing there because everything is a blur and he's as uncertain of his surroundings as he is of himself. 

"Minho and I are done," he states with disconcerting composure, walking away from Hyunjin without looking at his face and when Hyunjin doesn't respond back, he's grateful. 

He toys with the idea of sending fuming text messages or leaving voice calls full of wrath, or even blocking his number, but instead, his mind drifts into an empty numbness. 

Laying in bed and thinking about Minho's sweet taste on his lips, how he could get drunk off them alone, the tears start to well up in his eyes because as much as he wants to stay angry, he just feels so broken instead. 

His mind is caught in a whirlwind of endless _what ifs_ , wondering and wondering. _What if Jake had fucked him up so badly that he's afraid of commitment? What if I really did expect too much and he wasn't ready? Was it all my fault then?_

The questions don’t stop and he’s continuously tormented by them. A couple weeks go by and he's become noticeably thinner, barely finding the heart to eat his meals or to even go to class. It's almost as if time was a person, that it all stopped with Minho and all he can think about is how much he wants and misses him. As if every part of his skin remembers how it feels entangled in someone else's. 

Hyunjin is a good friend and tries to cheer him up as much as he can such as buying him food and offering to take him out places. Never once has he asked for Jisung to explain further, trying to avoid the subject as much as he can. He really couldn't ask for more but all he wants is the impossible, knowing full well no one can help him. Eventually, when Hyunjin keeps asking him to go clubbing with him and Changbin, he finally gives in. He's been moping inside all the time anyway, and a boost of self confidence in his favorite outfit and some fun couldn't hurt, he tries to tell himself. 

Putting on some red lingerie, he checks himself out on the mirror and admires how nicely the lace panties fit him. It’s been awhile since he’s put them on, having the last time been with Minho, but even then, it wasn’t something he wore often. As much as he loves how he looks in them, his embarrassment usually negates the confidence he feels, but he feels so petty right now that he’s not even thinking about that. He doesn't like admitting out loud how much of a petty person he is even though he knows it well inside. Although he swore to himself that he wouldn’t message Minho first, he wants to find a way to fuck with him. 

Spreading his legs, he tries to angle himself in a way that shows off his practically naked body as best he can. Then, to push Minho's buttons even more, he puts three fingers in his mouth, his lips agape, where you can slightly see wet spit glistening on his fingers. So deceptively innocuous, his round doe eyes fail to mask his lecherous desire, and he knows it'll drive Minho crazy. 

After taking pics and finds one that satisfies him, he hums to himself and puts on a casual white button up and black leather jeans.

"Are you dressing for the runway? You're taking forever!" Hyunjin knocks on the door. "Changbin is picking us up soon!"

"Don't be dramatic, I'll be there in a minute!"

Grabbing his phone, he sends a photo and a biting text of triumph, hoping it'll mess with Minho as much as he intended. 

  
  


**[9:38pm] Jisung:** _Sends attachment_.

**[9:39pm] Jisung:** Just know that every time you cum, it's because you were thinking of me. 

Tucking his phone away for the rest of the night, he tries to have fun when they end up at their local bar, a familiar hotspot for those in their university. 

And really, when he has everything he needs, he should be having the time of his life. He's here with friends and doesn't even have to drive home. There's no one he's committed to (or at least officially). He’s sipping a nice cocktail while Changbin and Hyunjin are dancing from afar, but when he looks at them, he feels a conflicting intermix of bitterness and genuine happiness for them. Honestly he looks fucking good tonight too, and he and everyone else knows it. But instead of boosting his ego, he feels strangely repulsed when a stranger starts flirting with him. 

Was Ji-hoon, or Jae-hyun his name? Surprisingly, even though he’s only slightly tipsy, he can’t even muster the energy to remember anything the other boy is hurling at him as if the stranger is talking to a brick wall. Something about being in the same year and some kind of baking major shit or _is that even a thing?_ Maybe he’s thinking of baking as his friend’s boyfriend’s hobby, which reminds him that he needs to work with Chan on their music project but they keep procrastinating on it.

“Are you listening to what I’m saying?” the brunette asks, visibly offended.

Jisung snaps out of his daze and takes a good look at him, the first time he’s done so the entire conversation. He looks at those brown bangs, how they hang over his eyes and it reminds him so much of someone else’s. 

“Sorry, I got really distracted thinking about some shit.”

“Are you here to get over someone?”

The words hit close to home but Jisung doesn’t want to answer and instead gives him a silent pause, but the stranger switches gears and asks a different question, “I am too. Would you mind if I kissed you?”

Not having the heart to care at all, or think about why this bastard would think it’s a good idea to kiss someone with a broken heart, Jisung shrugs and leans into the other and presses his lips against him, barely moving. The other presses harder and Jisung feels increasingly empty with each second that passes, comparing how dry those lips are to Minho’s smooth lips, how easily he would’ve melted into them unlike now. Trailing down lower, the stranger leaves a mark on his neck and everything at once becomes overwhelming—the loud blaring music, the growing revulsion he feels, and the abyss of emptiness that overtakes him. 

Pushing the stranger off abruptly, Jisung shakes his head and says, “I’m sorry, but honestly I can’t do this.”

Before he can reply, Jisung shoves through the crowd and exits the venue, wanting to take a deep breath of fresh air. Running his hands through his hair, all he can think about is that he wants to make a stupid decision next, even if he knows he’ll regret it. He pulls out his phone and texts Hyunjin that he’ll take a taxi home and that they shouldn't wait for him, and checks to see if Minho texted him back but _of course he wouldn’t_. It’s not like he had high hopes he would, but maybe a small little part of him did. _I'm so pathetic._

When the taxi asks him where his home is, he automatically thinks of Minho’s address and even though he knows how much of a terrible idea it is, he gives the taxi driver that instead of his own apartment. 

He wishes he was drunk enough to use that as an excuse, that the alcohol made him out of his mind, but he has nothing to blame besides his own volition.

Taking a deep breath before his door, he rings the doorbell and waits in anticipation. Coming here on such an impulse, he doesn’t even know what to say or how he should react when Minho opens the door. A minute passes and when he hears footsteps, his heart beats to the rhythm of them, feeling as if a few seconds are forever in this state of anxiety. 

Minho is just as astounded as he is when he opens the door, both of them staring at each other like deers caught in headlights, but the surprise on Minho’s face quickly dissipates when he notices the tiny hickey on Jisung’s neck, eyes becoming dark with a hint of jealousy and something more. The faint smell of alcohol emits from his clothes too, and Minho puts two and two together in his head that Jisung probably slept with some random bastard at a bar before coming here. 

“Were you drinking?”

“Clearly not enough, considering I came to you sober.” 

Minho’s eyes stay fixated on the mark but locks eyes with Jisung as he asks, “So you thought it was a good idea to sleep with someone else before you did?”

Minho has always been good at self-control and if Jisung didn’t know him any better, he would’ve missed the tinge of anger laced within his words. It baffles him that Minho could be jealous when he himself was the one that pushed him away.

“We’re just friends, right? So what if I slept with a stranger and came here?” Jisung tries to rile him up now, hoping Minho will play into his hands and finally crack.

And when he does, he cracks _hard_.

Slamming the door and pushing Jisung against the wall, he ghosts over his ear, whispering, “Those pictures you sent me...did you let him see you like that?”

“I let him see more than that.”

A fire consumes Minho as he suddenly cannot think of anything besides Jisung being fucked by someone else and it’s as if everything stops around him, that nothing matters besides how much he wants to get rid of that stranger’s touch, to get rid of that taint on his beautiful skin.

Smashing his mouth against Jisung, they quickly deepen the kiss as Minho licks into his tongue, dominating him and Jisung happily lets him. He wants this just as much as he does. Letting out small gasps, Jisung melts when Minho sucks into his neck, biting down and licking over it. 

As if Jisung’s body is a map, he wants to trace every single part to let everyone know he’s been here already, to cleanse wherever that filthy stranger had touched him.

“M-More, _please_ ,” Jisung breathes out, head dizzy from arousal and a growing tightness in his jeans. 

“Please what?”

“ _Please go lower_.”

“Oh I plan to. You haven’t seen anything yet,” he smirks, unbuttoning his top, his lips taking in a nipple and his hand twisting the other. “Did he touch you here, too?” 

“Mhm, he touched me lower, too,” Jisung mocks, knowing full well what he’s doing to Minho.

Minho looks up at him with feverish eyes, as he says in a low husky voice, “I’ll just make sure to clean you of him then.”

Dropping to his knees, he holds Jisung firmly at the waist and opens the zipper with his teeth—Jisung swears it’s the hottest thing he’s ever seen in his life. 

“ _Hyung…”_ Jisung moans, leaking so much even though he hasn’t even been touched yet.

When Minho sees those lace panties, he licks his lips and mouths at his cock through the fabric, moaning into it. “ _Fuck_ , you’re so fucking hot hyung. You don’t know how pretty you look.”

Minho hums happily, taking the panties off and takes in his dick all at once, surprising Jisung who instinctively bucks his hips up at him. 

“ _Fuck_ , _Fuck_ , Minho-hyung. I want you so bad.”

Swallowing deeply and staring intensely into Jisung’s eyes, the view alone almost makes him want to cum. 

Popping off of his dick, Minho smirks, “Where do you want me?”

“You know where, hyung,” Jisung whines, unbelievably frustrated and turned on at the same time.

“Use your words, Sungie. Or I won't know.”

“I want your fingers and then I want your dick,” Jisung gives in easily, and turns his face away, always embarrassed at admitting such lewd things that it’s a surprise he could even send such a perverse picture earlier.

“You want my fingers? Are you sure you’re not already stretched from being fucked by that bastard?” Minho groans, his fingers teasing Jisung’s entrance.

“ _Ahh, yes, yes, please_ . He was so small, nothing compared to you. _Please_ stretch me with your big cock, hyung.” 

Minho breaks into a shit eating grin, content at his ego being boosted as he finally gives in to Jisung, not a new phenomenon as much as he boasts about doing what he pleases.

Taking a bottle of lube from his back pocket, he squirts some on his fingers and gently nudges one inside of him. After Jisung gets used to it, he slowly inserts more and more until all three can fit, to which Jisung shortly becomes a moaning mess afterwards. 

“I’m going to fuck you so hard, you won’t even remember his name.” Jisung wants to tell him that he already never remembered that guy’s name, but not wanting to ruin the moment or give Minho the satisfaction, he lets out breathy moans instead. “After I’m done, you won’t even think of anyone else besides me.”

Taking out a condom and rolling it on, he stays true to his word, shoving it in all at once and sends a jolt of pleasure into all of Jisung’s being. Holding him up against the wall, Jisung wraps his legs around him, his mouth buried into Minho’s neck as his mind slips away in pleasure.

The way they fuck is so primitive, so visceral that the only words that leave their mouths are _Fuck_ , _harder_ , and _faster_. Both of them are slick with sweat, breathing out moans and Jisung takes him in for a kiss, exchanging breaths. 

“Hyung, when you saw my picture earlier, did you cum thinking about me?”

“ _Fuck,_ ” Minho groans into his ear, “Yes, I did.”

“ _Good_.”

And that’s enough to send him over the edge, Minho taking in Jisung’s neck to clamp down as he fucks hard into him, coming inside the condom with a low groan. Jisung follows shortly after, and Minho drops to his knees to swallow him whole, to take everything Jisung would give him. He works his mouth hard, and Jisung wonders how can someone look so beautiful while doing something so sinful. 

And when he comes, he comes so hard, thrusting into his mouth and riding his high while Minho swallows everything to the very last drop.

For a moment, they both collapse onto the floor as they lay down side by side, chests heaving. The sounds of heavy breathing are slowly replaced with the unspoken, both laying there in utter silence. After a few minutes pass, Minho gets a towel to clean both of their bodies without saying a word.

Jisung hates how gentle he’s being and it confuses him so much that he doesn’t know what to make of it or where to go from here.

But he breaks the silence first and he’s not even sure why he says this. “I didn’t sleep with him by the way. We kissed but I just kept thinking about you instead,” Jisung admitted.

Minho places down the towel he was cleaning Jisung with, to look him in the eyes and say, “...I’m really sorry, about everything.”

Jisung looks at him with pleading eyes, and stays silent as he allows Minho to continue.

“Honestly, the weeks apart where I didn’t see you were like hell for me. I didn't feel like doing anything anymore and I thought about you every second.”

“Then...do you have feelings for me?” Jisung asks with a wavering voice, afraid of hearing otherwise. 

“More than that. Honestly...I’m madly in love with you and I think deep inside, I always knew that long ago, but when you told me you loved me, it freaked me the fuck out. It’s hard to explain but it shook me up when I realized how much power you had over me, and I over you.” 

Jisung takes a hold of his hand, not wanting to interrupt but tries to comfort him with his warmth.

“I know I never really talked about my ex that much with you except in the beginning. Honestly, we don’t do deep talks often anyway; it’s just something we don’t do. And for me, after that bastard and I broke up, I didn’t feel a need to talk about him. It’s not like he made me happy to even speak well of him. But the pain of him cheating on me and my friend betraying me just overwhelmed me, and I kept thinking about that moment when you confessed to me. 

Tears start to well up in his eyes as he unearths himself, giving all his vulnerability to Jisung. “I was so scared that I loved you so much, and in that moment, I just didn’t want you to have the power to hurt me, and I become so afraid of having the ability to do the same to you too, and obviously I already did cause you pain without meaning to. That’s why I never tried to put a name to our relationship because I didn’t know what our future would be or what I wanted. But I want you so much that I don’t think I could let you go, no matter how scared I am.”

Jisung cups his face and leans in for a slow, sweet kiss. And when they detach their mouths, Jisung presses his forehead into his. “Baby, I want you, too. No matter how many times we fall down, as long as you want to walk besides me, I'll be there with you.” 

Minho flashes the biggest smile, his teeth shining like the time they went to the boba shop, reminding Jisung how in love and doomed he was from the start. 

“Will you be my boyfriend?” Minho asks, his eyes enveloped in Jisung’s beautiful ones.

“Only if you make me those killer sandwiches every day,” Jisung jokes, killing the cheesy atmosphere. 

“Stop! I mean this seriously,” Minho laughs.

“Then, of course I’d love to. And to have your big dick officially committed to me? That’s the real winner there.”

“God, you’re so stupid. I take it back, I don’t think we should date anymore,” Minho slaps his shoulder, giggling like a little schoolgirl.

Words can’t describe how happy he is; he’s been so disillusioned by love but with Jisung, everything feels like as if he’s experiencing everything for the first time. And he doesn’t want anyone or bad events in the past to take that away from him. 

“Hey, no take backsies. This is what you signed up for, baby.”

“I’m glad,” and Minho leans in once more, kissing him until the both of them are breathless, because that’s all the both of them reduce each other to. They pay no mind to the maze they’re in, because as long as they’re with each other, the beginning or end doesn’t matter. 

  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading and hope y'all enjoyed! <3
> 
> Can you believe that for a piece named after "Miroh," I didn't even listen to the song once while writing, HAHA.


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